Yet another single male nudist. Best to avoid him.

There are a lot more single men than single women naturists.  This is a major issue that has been much debated for decades and yet nothing seems to be changing.  If anything the situation is getting worse.

I think a major concern for single female naturists is feelings of vulnerability. In a clothed social environment women are far more likely to have unwanted attention from men than the other way around. To be honest, men seem far more likely to get unwanted attention from other men than from women. This is why women usually go clubbing in groups. For security, as much as for company.
In a naturist context the single man, not anticipating unwanted attention, has far fewer qualms about going to nude social events than a single woman.

Whilst the gender balance is intended to prevent women from feeling overwhelmed by too many men and getting lots of unwanted attention it fails to do so.
The insistence on a ‘gender balance’ further exacerbates the issue, as it gives any single male nudist a further reason to try to get close to any single female nudist. The desire to get friendly with women, who have an interest in nudism, in order to have someone with which to go to nudist events etc, is likely to be seen by the lone female as having a sexual motive. (It may, but it may not. It is impossible to tell at first) Hence even more unwanted attention for any single females and more reason for women to avoid naturism.
I’m yet another single male naturist who has been denied membership of my local naturist group on the grounds of gender and I know a few others in the same circumstances.

I think it is also a concern that the online community does not accurately reflect the people who attend naturist clubs and beaches etc. Most of the people who browse naturist sites are probably more interested in seeing nudity than nudism. Most of them wouldn’t be seen dead at an actual nudist event. Of the people who go to nudist events and activities, the vast majority are there for a genuine interest in nudism. Some of the single men may also be interested in hooking up with women, but that is not their main reason for being there. Men do not go to nudist venues to ogle women. there is a good reason for this.
The most common question that men seem to ask about nudism is “what happens if you get an erection?” Women often ask the same thing about nudism. The sort of men who want to leer at pictures of naked women, or even leer at them in the flesh will not want to be naked, because they will expect to get aroused. They may well go to the WNBR to get some snaps of boobs, or wander clothed along a beach used by nudists, looking for a sneaky snap. If they do strip off at the beach, they will be the ones in the dunes, looking like mere cats as they peer around from the distance. They will generally not want to be in an environment where they are naked among people who would object to unwanted attention and hence will not be seeking to join clubs. From speaking to other nudists, and club owners, it seems that there are very few people who go to clubs with any lecherous agenda. Those who do are easy to identify and ban. They will be known. Their name can be passed on to other clubs. They do not want that. Hence very few of them would bother.  I recently was watching a documentary about nudism in which the club owner mentioned one guy a few years before who had come along and had been showing an unhealthy interest in other members.  He was easily identified and banned.  He was also said to have known to a few other clubs that they contacted.  If male perverts are so rare that club owners only recall a single instance, why then are thousands of men being punished for fear that they might be such people?

The consequences for male nudists is that they can generally only go to nudist beaches (official or not) if they want to be naked in a socially acceptable way.  This has been the case for so long that many nudist beaches are now the hunting ground for homosexual men, looking to hook up, or just to look at the other naked men on the beach.  In the last decade the central part of the nudist section of Studland beach had a reputation for homosexual activity in the dunes.  Recently the National Trust wardens have been criticised for being overly homophobic in their patrolling of the area.  Does this alleged homophobia mean that the wardens are mainly concerned with the presence of homosexual activity in the area and the impact it is having on other beach users?  In my own area a few men I know have decided to leave the unofficial nudist beaches that they have visited when observing gay couples engaged in sexual activity. (They would have responded the same way to heterosexual sexual activity)

I myself have not witnessed such things.  Most of the men who frequent nudist beaches are  perfectly sociable and considerate.  I have known men to flirt with me, but they were not pushy when I made my lack of interest clear.  However I know others for whom it is becoming a significant concern.  Single men have been driven away from nudist clubs because of the concern that they might drive away women with unwanted attention.  Now they are being driven out of the beaches because they themselves are fearing being the recipients of unwanted sexual attention.

There is also the concern about how others perceive them.  Whilst walking along a beach that is sometimes used by naturists a friend and I passed two naked men.  My friend suggested to give them room, as they probably wanted a bit of privacy.  The implication was that the men were gay.  Although there are a lot more men than women on some beaches, and many of the men might be regular visitors, and hence know each other, if they are together, they are viewed as being gay.  Thus I know a few people who are unwilling to go to beaches as a group, unless there are women with them, for fear of being labeled as gay.  This may be a bit homophobic, but it also indicates how vulnerable some male nudists feel about how others view them.  If they are on their own they are viewed as opportunistic sexual predators and perverts.  If they are with other men they are viewed as homosexuals.  It is only when with women that they do not face any significant stigma.  Is it any wonder then that single naturist men are so desperate to hook up with women who have an interest in naturism, or simply to find a partner and try to introduce them to naturism?

Surely if there are no many single male naturists, there must be a market for people to cater to them.  Instead they are being neglected by just about everybody.  Shunned, marginalised and driven away from naturalism.  There is currently no place for the single male naturist.

cartoon

About Colin H

Ancient historian specialising in Greco-Roman siegecraft who also does 11th century reenactment. I am also a keen dancer and a nudist.
This entry was posted in Nudism and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Yet another single male nudist. Best to avoid him.

  1. Reblogged this on Naked Imp and commented:
    It’s good to see it from the single make perspective. In many ways they have definitely drawn the short straw here. How is the single male to be accepted in nudist society if he’s tarred with the pervert brush? :/

  2. Reblogged this on home clothes free and commented:
    You raise some important issues here that the clothes free community must eventually come to grips with

  3. What a hysterical photo! Sad but true, as I have encountered that a few times on a personal level. You make some very valid points, I think the only way these issues can be overcome is if the nudist resorts and clubs started doing marketing and advertising campaigns geared towards single women. Of course, they should have events that cater to that clientele. It is only with proper education and communication that we can dispel some of these myths. There is a huge opportunity for them to bring in some new clients and perhaps increase the numbers of nudists in the country thus generating more revenue for themselves.

  4. Taffy Evans says:

    I just thought it was me that felt like that. Excellent article but nothing will get done, especially by clubs accepting single males. I’m also gay & would never use the beaches for pick ups, that’s a different part of my life.

    • Colin H says:

      you’re certainly not the only person who feels like that. it is one of the most common things I hear male nudists talk about. I don’t know if things will ever change, but it depends on people accepting nudity as natural and separating it from sex. It is the straight men with lewd preconceptions that cause clubs to clamp down like this. I was chatting with some people at a nudist swimming club in Cwmbran yesterday and they were saying that they tried advertising in the local paper, but mostly had inquiries from men whose first questions are “How man women do you have attending and what age are they?” those people never turn up. Once they learn that it isn’t a Playboy party they stay well away. It is the fact that they do make such inquiries that makes club owners feel defensive about membership.
      I doubt that any people who consider themselves nudists would use nude beaches for pickups, as they would want to be considerate of the nudists who use the beaches. Any lewd activity which does go on, whatever the orientation, is by people who have no interest in nudism and no concern about the trouble they are causing for nudists.

  5. Nicky says:

    Have you notice the inherit sexism and double standards here. Where if a woman say’s she’s a nudist a guy smiles. Whereas if a Man say’s he’s a nudist, she freaks out. Clearly society has a perception and sexism issue here.

    • Colin H says:

      Yes. That’s the point. I’m trying to highlight that there are double standards. I think though that I should write something specifically on how nudists of each gender are perceived by non-nudists.

      • Nicky says:

        On top of the fact that Nudism as a whole has a homophobia issue and an LGB issue that needs to be addressed head on.

      • Colin H says:

        Nudism has pretty much got an issue with sex in every form, as nudists want to separate nudism from sex in peoples minds. I know several gay nudists. Having no personal experience of it, I’m not in a position to comment on nudists having an issue with the LGBT community. The accusations of lewd acts on nudist beaches are often directed at gay men. I don’t know if it is really homophobia, as it has more to do with how the beaches are being used, rather than their sexuality that nudists generally have issues with. However, there is some prejudice in their attitude and if nudists are anticipating homosexuals to act inapropriately, it is likely that they will be making gay men feel unwelcome. It’s an issue I’m not yet informed enough to comment fairly on.

  6. rpw says:

    My family were naturist when I was growing up, and in typical teenage fashion it was something I rebelled against (luckily Ma & Pa were completely relaxed whether I went clothed or unclothed, so it wasn’t really much of an issue). Now in my early 40s, I’ve finally come back to the naturist/nudist way of thinking, but the fear of either unwanted attention (probably irrational: who do I think I am… god’s gift to men?) from the gay community, or a negative reaction because of the stigma of being a single naked man, has put me off attending any events. Or going to a nudist beach for that matter (horror stories about people’s experiences on Studland beach haven’t helped either, for that matter).

    By the way, love the cartoon. Awesome. ;-)

    • Colin H says:

      Studland used to have a bad reputation, but it has become a lot better in the last five years or so. I think everyone has fears at first about what other people might think, but the reality isn’t so bad. Clubs are less open to singles, but at other events people are more accepting. The clothing optional events at the Abbey House Gardens are a nice, relaxed, friendly environment. At any of the BN beach days they are always keen to make any new people feel welcome. There seem to be a lot less places open to single nudists but I can recommend the Singles Outdoor Club, who are mostly single male nudists, but do have a few women too, and host naked walks around England. They also hold a solos weekend at Rivendell once a years, which is open to all.
      The cartoon wasn’t mine. I saw it a while back and thought it was too true and appropriate not to include.

  7. J says:

    No one will be catering to single male nudists. That cannot be a productive venture. The last people in the world who want to see a beach or other venue packed with single male nudists are single male nudists.

    The idea is a non-starter from the beginning.

  8. Robert says:

    Well this recent good weather saw me have my first proper nude experience on a beach in s wales, and i went back the next day and two days later. I loved it, mostly men there and 1 or 2 women, no hassle, and I would like to do more, but I’m single so I feel awkward and get what you say – which disheartens me. So any good groups in South Wales where a single man could be welcome?

    • Colin H says:

      There are a couple of nude swimming groups which do welcome single men. One I go to occasionally is the Cwmbran Sun Group. http://cwmbransungroup.homestead.com/
      I much prefer being nude outdoors, rather than in a swimming pool, but it does give you the opportunity to meet and chat with other nudists in the area and to learn more about any nude events going on.
      There are some good nudist clubs around Pembrokeshire, but I don’t know what they are like towards single men these days. I had heard they weren’t very welcoming in the past.
      The group I usually hook up with, I met at the Cardiff naked bike ride. We are mostly men, but there are some women. In any group that is open to all there will be a disparity in membership between the genders, but as long as people are courteous towards each other it doesn’t put off the women who attend. There is a ‘Naked in Wales’ facebook group which may be worth making inquiries through.

  9. spiralcosmosart says:

    Is this really as bad as you say worldwide? You seem to go to a lot of different nude or clothing optional places, but mostly based out of the U.K., Australia, and maybe New Zealand. What’s your experience in the U.S.A., Hawaii, Canada, or other Places?. Is there anywhere in the world where this observation is not true? I am a heterosexual monogamous man who wants total reciprocation in lifestyle. Is there anywhere else where single man can meet single heterosexual monogamous woman peacefully naked without less than 50% single heterosexual monogamous women there? Or is the fear of promiscuity that bad? I’m thinking maybe Brazil or somewhere else in Latin America? I’ve discovered with what little experience I’ve had at private resorts or retreats in the Pacific Northwest U.S.A., when there is a greater proportion of women, the women there do not act apprehensive nor feel the least big threatened. Heterosexual single men are far less likely to give unwanted stares. No one there is the center of unwanted attention, no one there feels stigmatized nor outcast. There is a basic understanding of respect for the rules at those places at private resorts, so there is no disproportion of single men to single women. If that is not the case, as a single man nudism is a waste of time. On public lands it’s often as you say: either homosexual men, the attractive healthy athletic women are there with their husbands and boyfriends and children, obese and seriously unathletic people, and us single guys are left wondering what next to do to find Miss Right to live happily ever after with who loves being naked outdoors?

    • Colin H says:

      Sorry for being slow in replying. I’m currently working for a year in China and the internet restrictions here make it hard to check on my blog. Whilst this is the case in much of North America, the UK and (to a lesser extent) Australia, it is not universal. I couldn’t comment on Canada and have not been to South america. I do know that in Germany nudity is quite readily accepted. It is normal to see people sunbathing naked in parks in Germany. Because it is accepted by the public, there are not the same concerns as in the UK. Therefore the demographic is far more balanced. It is quite normal to meet groups of single female nudists there.
      In France there is also a more even mix, although some of the more popular nudist venues are now being taken over by swingers.

      The situation in the UK and North America certainly make it much harder to meet a single woman who is interested in nudism, but I wouldn’t agree that it makes nudism a waste of time. I know several nudists with non-nudist partners. The attraction of nudism is how it makes me feel. It is nice to have a partner who shares your view, but not having such a partner doesn’t change how I feel about nudism.

      • Nicky says:

        In North America and the UK, it is a problem with single biological males, but no so much in Germany, France & Australia. In North America, they still have this mentality of equating Nudism with sex.

  10. piet hackett says:

    Enjoyed reading the replies and the blog itself and although only online for about 18 months have realized that this seems to an eternal issue, at least in the UK, relating to the female:male gender ratio amongst nudists which seems to me to be irreconcilable unless a fundamental shift of public opinion towards naturists encourages more ladies in general to shed their inhibitions & clothing ideally at first within an established nudist club or popular beach venue to gain conifidence.

    Personally this debate rather passes me by as i spend the vast majority of my public nude time at a remote section of a vast South -west english beach (non official) so far away from the car parks that sees almost all the relatively few naturists during the weekdays when I mainly go being male – predominately retired, and /or widowed/ divorced or with non participating wives – might be nice to chat to a lady for a change but i’m not holding my breath.

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  14. Excellent article. We’ve shared it from http://nudeinspain.com.
    As a nudist couple we can see things from three different points of view. Everyone has their own reasons to feel the way they feel. We’d all like to see more women enjoying social nudity, but as the article says, it seems like there’s nothing that can be done about it, and things are getting worse.
    What’s sure is that “possitive discrimination” never works out, and in a society soooo politically correct it’s outrageous how single men are discriminated so badly. Why is acceptable to discriminate men (making them pay more at discos and social events, banning single men from naturist places, etc etc) when the Declaration of Human Rights and every Constitution in all civilised countries say that no human being can be discriminated on race, gender and religion?
    We CAN’T achieve gender balance by putting down the numbers of males, it’s all about increasing the numbers of females, including those in “mixed” couples, so common around here in Spain, where men are naked on the beach while their ladies lie beside fully clothed.

  15. Tagg says:

    It is an unfortunate truth that single male naturists are suspect and ” guilty until proven innocent” in the eyes of far to many naturist oriented groups and companies that cater to naturist interests. I couldn’t begin to count the number of resort getaways or cruises I’ve had to pass on because of restrictions specifically targeting single males. A sad truth that discrimination remains alive and well in our society today…

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